Couples

I find helping couples communicate with each other more deeply from their hearts to be one of the most rewarding parts of my practice. Working with many couples over the years, I have trained in several ways of thinking about attachment in relationships. Not one way works for all couples. Sometimes, just coming in for a few sessions helps open up the communication between you. Other couples may want to address long standing issues that need more time and attention. Together we will explore which combination addresses your specific needs.

We will work with increasing your ability to effectively listen and speak with each other during times of conflict. In our therapy sessions I guide you in learning to understand your partner’s communication style and acknowledging the ways you contribute to your relationship patterns. This new way of relating can bring a deeper connection to your partner (and your own inner longings) as you learn to listen and express more open-heartedly. 

It can be difficult to be vulnerable when there has been a crisis of trust or you have gotten stuck in a negative cycle of relating. Distress can create distance and misunderstandings. In exploring the deeper emotions underneath the distress, we can create a loving environment for you to share your tenderest selves with each other. I have been deeply moved being a witness to these tender moments. I help you to create connection and openness even when what you need to say is painful. 

We may also explore interactional patterns that were learned during childhood.  We often recreate these family-of-origin dynamics in our current relationships. We do this not in a pathological way, but because we really want to heal these wounds. We want to find a loving way of relating to our partner but we get stuck in how triggered we get. Identifying and exploring the origins of these triggers can help release their charge. You can then see and experience yourself and your partner in a more open-hearted way.

I also attend to how outside oppressive systems effect us individually and how we relate to each other. Together we may inquire into the possibility of how these stressors contribute to difficulties in the relationship.

I am quite active in couples counseling sessions. I act as a guide, a witness and a believer in the process of change.